If Diddy Kong Racing DS is proof enough, you should never take something that works perfectly well, try to change it for innovation's sake, and ruin it.

The very first N64 game I bought was Diddy Kong Racing, a charming and innovative racing game that beat the pants off Mario Kart 64 in everything (except the battle mode) and served as a grand introduction to 3-D gaming for me.

When I heard Rare was going to remake this classic for the DS, I was hyped with anticipation. While I was disappointed to hear my favorite character Banjo was replaced with a Tiny Kong who's undergone a bizarre growth spurt, I tried to look past something as trivial as a character replacment and looked forward to the game.

On the release date, I headed right over to EB Games and picked up my reserved game and headed straight home to play...

...the very next day, I returned it.

DKR DS isn't a remake, it's a mutation that resulted from Rareware taking one of their once beloved games, removing everything fun from it, and replacing it with shoddy touch-screen gimmicks.

While I was thankful to hear they removed the silver coin challenges, I can't say the rail-shooter game they replaced it with is any better. Much worse in fact. At least the silver coin challenge actully has something to do with racing. The fact that you actully have to force yourself to look in a different direction to find balloons to pop is like forcing someone to lift cement blocks with their feet.

I also want to know who it was that put together the touch-screen controlled boss race challenges and thought "Yep, people are going to love this mode." Does the fact that you get rewarded tons of coins to beat it prove how frustrating and annoying this mode is?

Super Mario 64 DS was an example of a remake done correctly. It took the flaws in the 64 version, fixed them, and added new stuff to extend the gameplay.

DKR had little to no flaws, but instead of leaving it alone and maybe just adding new tracks, playable characters and that cool create-a-track mode (one of the only good things I liked about this game), they felt the need to change practically everything. This is not how you do a remake, this is how you rape one's fond childhood memories.

Judging from their recent releases, and the upcoming and obviously horrible Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts n' Bolts, I'm pretty much convinced Rareware has come down with a fatal illness that makes them afraid of money and success.

R.I.P.
Rareware
1982 - 2002